What's In a Name?

Isn’t it interesting how we value our “name?” It’s who we are, our identification. In our society, we are given a name upon birth, hopefully by our parents who consider our names (at least in the beginning) as a term of endearment! In the Bible, names were given many times based on a meaning, like Moses means “to draw out of water.” Certainly that was the beginning of an adventurous life for Moses. Mostly today, we are named after family members or friends. My name has no noble beginning as my mother, who’s a soap opera addict, liked sisters on one of her soaps whose names were Penny and Patty. And yes, I have a sister named Penny! However, I never realized the true value of a name until my son met an autistic boy named, Andrew.


A few years ago, my son Tyler came home from one of his first weeks at middle school and told me about a boy named Andrew he had met in one of his classes. Tyler enjoyed talking to Andrew as Andrew loved dinosaurs at that time. It warmed my heart as a mom that Tyler was sensitive to someone with abilities that were different from his.

The next Sunday in church I am sure Tyler was doing his usual day-dreaming during the sermon. At the end of the service, Tyler said to me, “Mom, I see Andrew across the auditorium. I’m going to find him and say hello. Please come with me so you can meet my friend, Andrew.” With that, Tyler began darting across aisles and pews (it was a very large church) and yelling very loudly, “Andrew, Andrew.” I was a little embarrassed as Tyler hastily made his way through the maze of people continuing to yell, “Andrew, Andrew.” Both Andrew and his mom were looking around trying to figure out who was calling Andrew’s name.

When we got to them, Tyler said, “Mom, this is my friend Andrew.” I introduced myself to this precious mom and said that the boys had a class together at school and my son had mentioned her son to me. Tyler was excited that he had seen Andrew at church. It was a brief encounter and not much else was said between the boys. We actually exchanged numbers and suggested we get the boys together outside of school.

Soon after that, we met Andrew and his mom and sister at the pool. It was there that I learned so much more about friendships and the importance of our own names. Sometime during this outing, Andrew’s mom carefully put Tyler’s cheeks inside the palms of her hands, like a vice-grip holding a piece of metal. I honestly thought he had done something wrong at first until I realized that she was trying to get ALL of his attention as she had something very important to say.

“Tyler,” she began with tears in her eyes. “Do you know that the Sunday you yelled, Andrew, Andrew across the church auditorium, how important that was to me?” Tyler looked stunned still wondering if he was in trouble. With her hands on his face, she continued, “Do you realize that Andrew is 12 years old and it was the first time in his life that someone cared enough to yell his name in a friendship way? You validated him as a person and I can’t tell you how much this means to me as his mother. I wanted to thank you.”

I began to understand how important a name was through the eyes of this mother and the unknown pain that this mom silently carried. By now, both of us moms were in tears as the boys were clueless and continued their splashing and jumping.

That was six years ago and the boys have since gone their separate ways. I got a phone call last week from Andrew’s mom. Andrew is celebrating his 18th birthday this summer and one of the first people that Andrew told his mom he wanted to come to his party was Tyler. She was calling to see if Tyler would want to come to Andrew’s party. When I mentioned it to Tyler, he was excited to see his friend Andrew again and so glad that Andrew thought to invite him to come to his party. Can’t wait for the party next month! (I'll be the nameless fly on the wall!)