The answer was 'no' for any meeting.
That was not the word we wanted to receive through our mediator. Although, It was very simply stated, it was much
more difficult to understand. I can only speak from our perspective. What do
you do when life hands you an answer that you don’t want to hear or when
someone disappoints you? What do you do
when the dreams you had hoped for don’t materialize? Don’t we all share the same heartaches? The
script may be different but the same scenes appear. We celebrated Tay’s 18th birthday
that same night with just our family at P.F.Changs. I cannot describe the blanket of peace that
was spread over our family that evening. It was a warm, gentle calmness that
surrounded our souls. There was no room
for anything else. Truly it was a vivid illustration of the verses in Scripture
that say “and the peace of God that passes all understanding, will keep your
hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, Our Lord.” As a wise friend kindly advised, just
as we respected the birthmother’s decision to choose life for Tay 18 years ago
and God’s intervention to place Tay in our home, so we must continue to respect
the birthmother’s decision today. And
so, we do. A “no” today may not mean a “no”
forever. We have enjoyed hearing all
your stories from parents who have adopted children, children who are adoptees
and birthmothers. One of the most poignant
text to Tay came the day after her birthday.
A close friend gave up her daughter for adoption nearly 30 years ago and
although she has reached out to meet the daughter, it has come with the same
response, 'no'. With her permission, I’ll
share her txt: “Happy Belated Birthday
Girlie – wanted to text you yesterday to tell you my heart was right there with
you. We both want to know the other part
of ourselves but they’re not ready for us..at the same time you have the best
mom and I have the best daughter so God has given them to us instead…someday we
will meet our birthmother and birth daughter..just not today…its crazy because
I was sure I would meet her on her 18th birthday too. The day you told me you were adopted I felt
the most special and immediate bond to you and your mom and I still do. You are such a beautiful and talented young woman and the world has
great things in store for you.” A word spoken at the right time is like gold apples on a
silver tray (Proverbs 25:11)
A couple of nights ago riding home in the car, Laura
Story’s incredible song “Blessings”, came on the radio. Laura’s songs have special
meaning because we knew her personally before her career took off (and she won that Grammy!). She penned this heartfelt song this past year
that pretty much sums up the way we feel.
We sang it together in the car:
What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise
 |
| Laura Story and Taylor Anne rocking in her bedroom. |
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near.
This amazing journey is far from over and maybe it’s not
the destination that’s important but rather what we learn along the way.
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