An Amazing Journey- Part 7 - The Unveiling

Sometimes events we witness are enormous productions, lights, glitter, overwhelming personalities and loud noise which mislead us to believe that life’s greatest moments are best captured in the biggest and boldest events. And every now and then, our eyes are opened to witness the quiet beauty of watching creation, the sound of a whisper of wind or the gaze of one human being to another.  It’s in these moments that our hearts ponder every detail and the fragrance of the event lingers like a sweet aroma.  Such was the gift given to Taylor Anne on the days she talked with and met her birthfather.   It was a quiet unveiling of the mysteries that lingered in her mind during these past months.

I believe every child grows up with the strongest desire to be loved and the love that the parents have for their children provides the basis for the child’s mental well-being.  For Taylor Anne, we know she is secure in the fact that her parents (us) greatly love her but there is an inner yearning for her as an adopted child to be loved by her birthmother and birthfather and also to allow her to extend that love to them.  She’s always loved them, always wanted to meet them and even though she is a beautiful, confident young woman, the desire to put these pieces together has driven her especially this senior year of high school.   Sometimes the answers are not what she wanted and then other times, the response allows us a glimpse of God’s grace.  On Tuesday, April 30^th, Tay’s birthfather read a letter written by Tay expressing her love for him and asking for the opportunity to meet him.  The response was a return of affection and yes to meeting.   Tay’s heart soared as this was an opposite reaction from her birthmother earlier in the year.   Saturday, May 4^th her birthfather called her for the first time.  I’ve quoted this before, and these words have even deeper meaning after their conversation:  “Words fitly spoken are like apples of gold in bowls of silver” (Prov. 25:11). Their conversation was emotional, difficult and easy all mixed together.  It flowed freely and healing words from him comforted her soul.  The love she had for him was easily expressed and freely returned.  Although the blood connection had been there for 18 years, a new relationship was born.  The quietness of this moment was sacred.

We all knew it was important to bring Tay and her birthfather together in person quickly.  He and his beautiful wife, who also opened up her heart and life to Tay, along with Jimmy and me planned our private meeting in our home on Thursday, May 9^th.  We prayed that this day would be special for Taylor Anne and her birthfather.   We wanted it to be simple, quiet and memorable in every way.

Early that morning while the three of us were alone, Taylor Anne, whose always thinking of how someone will be impacted, gave Jimmy a gift of a ring with the engraving “forever my daddy.”   That small token was just another confirmation that the path we allowed her to take would not be one that would take her away from us but rather bind us together even more as we walk these very unusual and yet peaceful days.

There was one thing very important to Tay that her birthfather was unaware of and also something important to him without knowing Tay’s feelings.  That was that neither Tay nor her birthfather wanted to see a picture of the other.  They both wanted the first glance of each other to be in person and I thought it was very special that they both felt very strong about this even though with facebook and other media, it would have been easy to take a peek.   Tay loved that he felt the very same way.   At almost noon on Thursday, May 9^th, Taylor Anne got that first look when she opened our front door and stood face to face with this handsome man she affectionately calls “Dad.”  It was a life changing moment that we were grateful to be witnessing as Taylor Anne had her dream fulfilled.  We all spent the next couple of hours exchanging stories, looking through pictures and exploring more about the genetic make-up of our daughter.  It was surreal to see them together.  She looks like him in many ways and definitely gets her “driven” gene from him.  The time went by too quickly but they graciously invited her to visit them in their home and also to return for her graduation party.  This day was truly special, not with fireworks going off or loud festivities, but two people who gazed at each other and had a special connection and were open to the future possibilities of building relationships and creating new memories.

I think the most asked question for Taylor Anne by her friends is “how do your parents feel about this?”  It’s also the most asked question to Jimmy and me “how are you all dealing with Taylor Anne meeting her birthfather and calling him “Dad.”   We have been walking down this path with Taylor Anne since she began to understand this concept of two mothers and two fathers.  We both have perfect peace that Taylor Anne has a great understanding of who we are in her life and the roles we have played and will continue to play.  This is a very unique situation and opportunity to allow our daughter to share her love and life with this extended and beautiful family.  We better understand her now that we’ve met him, his wife and his family.   We are grateful for their willingness to remove the “veil” that kept her from understanding who she is and also to allow her to freely give the affection that she so desires to pour upon them and now so beautifully receive that affection back from them.  She moves forward with our greatest blessing.  The timing of how this unfolded was perfect. She's only 18 and now has so much time to build memories with her new family.  We never know what a day might hold with this girl and we are so blessed by God to be called her parents.